Reflections Part 2 - Crazy, Radical Faith for 2017
Part of my growth process is to strive towards achieving a goal that I have identified as necessary based on introspection. For 2017, it was about Crazy, Radical Faith. There were some things happening in my life that demanded it. I also felt it was necessary to grow in faith regardless of what was happening.
One of the issues that had me struggling the most was by lower back. In the latter part of 2016, I did an MRI which showed degeneration (the very short version). It was causing me to have pain and discomfort. For the most part, I could manage the pain. I did do a few sessions of physiotherapy to help when it was at it's worse. But perhaps what I needed extra grace for is the inability to sleep well. I couldn't seem to find a comfortable position - side, back, didn't matter. It affected me in different ways. I felt lethargic and lazy a lot. I felt like I had to put a lot more effort into doing things and going places. Even going to church and teaching my Sunday School class was affected.
I tried different things - teas, yoga, dance. And prayer after prayer after prayer. There didn't seem to be much improvement. One of the exercises most recommended (doctor and physiotherapist) was swimming, so one major change was to start swimming. I started in April, with great trepidation. For some reason, I have a fear of waters that are deep (ie, where I can't stand). It took a few sessions to be more comfortable in the water. I also went to Holy Childhood during the summer and got a few pointers from a coach and friend.
In all this, there was one change which overlapped with the back issue but which had its own genesis - my hair. I struggled with making the change from relaxing my hair to going back natural. The issues affecting my back, interestingly, was the push I needed. When I started swimming, my hair was my biggest problem. I stopped relaxing it from Dec 2016, so by the time I started swimming, there were two distinct textures which made for very difficult washing and combing. By the time July came around, it was unmanageable. After swimming one Saturday, it was so hard to comb through that I was tempted to grab a scissors and cut it right then. So I knew I had a choice - my health or my hair. The former won.
The struggles have continued but improved. I had moments of crying out to God when my bed felt like a torture machine. I had moments of doubt that God could heal me, that the exercise (swimming et al) would help, and that I could lead a normal life without worrying about how much sleep I'm not getting despite my best efforts. But as it was the year of CRF, I kept going, kept believing. God provided words of encouragement when I needed them most. I ended the year in less pain and discomfort than how I started. I am sure I'm not out of the woods since I still have issues. But I count the blessings and continue to exercise faith that I will be healed!
Did I achieve the CRF I set out for? Not even close! But I sure made some steps in the right direction. I can but continue to move in that direction and trust that God will walk with me and show me the way as I go. The year may have ended, and the new season has begun, but certainly CRF is now a constant part of the journey...I am sure I'll be amazed at where it leads me.
One of the issues that had me struggling the most was by lower back. In the latter part of 2016, I did an MRI which showed degeneration (the very short version). It was causing me to have pain and discomfort. For the most part, I could manage the pain. I did do a few sessions of physiotherapy to help when it was at it's worse. But perhaps what I needed extra grace for is the inability to sleep well. I couldn't seem to find a comfortable position - side, back, didn't matter. It affected me in different ways. I felt lethargic and lazy a lot. I felt like I had to put a lot more effort into doing things and going places. Even going to church and teaching my Sunday School class was affected.
I tried different things - teas, yoga, dance. And prayer after prayer after prayer. There didn't seem to be much improvement. One of the exercises most recommended (doctor and physiotherapist) was swimming, so one major change was to start swimming. I started in April, with great trepidation. For some reason, I have a fear of waters that are deep (ie, where I can't stand). It took a few sessions to be more comfortable in the water. I also went to Holy Childhood during the summer and got a few pointers from a coach and friend.
In all this, there was one change which overlapped with the back issue but which had its own genesis - my hair. I struggled with making the change from relaxing my hair to going back natural. The issues affecting my back, interestingly, was the push I needed. When I started swimming, my hair was my biggest problem. I stopped relaxing it from Dec 2016, so by the time I started swimming, there were two distinct textures which made for very difficult washing and combing. By the time July came around, it was unmanageable. After swimming one Saturday, it was so hard to comb through that I was tempted to grab a scissors and cut it right then. So I knew I had a choice - my health or my hair. The former won.
The struggles have continued but improved. I had moments of crying out to God when my bed felt like a torture machine. I had moments of doubt that God could heal me, that the exercise (swimming et al) would help, and that I could lead a normal life without worrying about how much sleep I'm not getting despite my best efforts. But as it was the year of CRF, I kept going, kept believing. God provided words of encouragement when I needed them most. I ended the year in less pain and discomfort than how I started. I am sure I'm not out of the woods since I still have issues. But I count the blessings and continue to exercise faith that I will be healed!
Did I achieve the CRF I set out for? Not even close! But I sure made some steps in the right direction. I can but continue to move in that direction and trust that God will walk with me and show me the way as I go. The year may have ended, and the new season has begun, but certainly CRF is now a constant part of the journey...I am sure I'll be amazed at where it leads me.
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