On Singledom, Marriage and More
A few weeks ago, I met someone who asked me a question I've heard many times before - why are you single? I gave a somewhat standard answer - I have not met the right person or something along that line. When I considered the question, I recognised that it was coming from a good place. It seems people generally have a concept that once you are of a certain "quality" - character, look, education level, intelligence, etc - then it's unusual to be single.
The truth is that the "Single" box has been checked for some time now. There was a time a few years ago that I struggled with this, thinking something was wrong with me. Thank God I was transformed...so much so that I enjoy my single life. I see it as a blessing and not a curse as society suggests. It's an opportunity to learn about myself, to be free to do things that may be more restricted otherwise, and so much more.
Lest one thinks otherwise, let me set the record straight. I do want to get married one day...and possibly have a child (note: singular). It took me a while to get to this stage, but that's a story for another time (Disclaimer - I say that a lot). However, if I do end up seeing this come to fruition or it remains elusive, life will be great. I've let go of the notion that one's happiness is determined by one's relationship/marital status. Wherever the wind blows, it's God who chooses my fate. I'm great either way He blows.
As it relates to dating and courting, I'm old-fashioned. It's the man who should do the chasing and the going-after. Apart from personality traits, it seems and feels unnatural for me to be chasing after a man. So I will not...unless God says otherwise in explicit, unmistakable words, in which case I'll bite my tongue and obey. Some may say in this "modern" day and age that women can do whatever they want including being the one to propose marriage, etc. If that's their thing, then OK. To each his own. So why this old-fashioned stance?
In the not too distant past, it was revealed that my perception of marriage was a bit off. This included interpretations of the popular Bible verse Ephesian 5: 22. Now, it is my belief that the man is the head of the household (not in a I-rule-you or you-have-no-say sort of way). He is the one that should take control of the family with wifey beside him and supporting him every step of the way. Because of this, I also believe he should be the one to do the courting and the proposing, etc. I will be a willing participant :-)
One final thought. I intend to marry my best friend when that time comes. In other words, I must have a certain level of trust and comfort and connection with this person that grows from and transcends ordinary friendship. He would be one that knows my quirks and flaws and I must be willing and able to share the most private or strangest of thoughts or ideas without fear of betrayal or judgement. I must feel I can be 100% me. As much as the physical is important, it's the friendship that will stand the test of time and old age (ie, hip problems and dentures, etc). In case one wonders if I've met this person: doesn't seem so (but hey! God has a sense of humour so won't declare this fact!). But at least I know what I am willing to accept, because settling (for an apple when God made me for an orange) is not an option.
That's just my few (succinct) thoughts...
The truth is that the "Single" box has been checked for some time now. There was a time a few years ago that I struggled with this, thinking something was wrong with me. Thank God I was transformed...so much so that I enjoy my single life. I see it as a blessing and not a curse as society suggests. It's an opportunity to learn about myself, to be free to do things that may be more restricted otherwise, and so much more.
Lest one thinks otherwise, let me set the record straight. I do want to get married one day...and possibly have a child (note: singular). It took me a while to get to this stage, but that's a story for another time (Disclaimer - I say that a lot). However, if I do end up seeing this come to fruition or it remains elusive, life will be great. I've let go of the notion that one's happiness is determined by one's relationship/marital status. Wherever the wind blows, it's God who chooses my fate. I'm great either way He blows.
As it relates to dating and courting, I'm old-fashioned. It's the man who should do the chasing and the going-after. Apart from personality traits, it seems and feels unnatural for me to be chasing after a man. So I will not...unless God says otherwise in explicit, unmistakable words, in which case I'll bite my tongue and obey. Some may say in this "modern" day and age that women can do whatever they want including being the one to propose marriage, etc. If that's their thing, then OK. To each his own. So why this old-fashioned stance?
In the not too distant past, it was revealed that my perception of marriage was a bit off. This included interpretations of the popular Bible verse Ephesian 5: 22. Now, it is my belief that the man is the head of the household (not in a I-rule-you or you-have-no-say sort of way). He is the one that should take control of the family with wifey beside him and supporting him every step of the way. Because of this, I also believe he should be the one to do the courting and the proposing, etc. I will be a willing participant :-)
One final thought. I intend to marry my best friend when that time comes. In other words, I must have a certain level of trust and comfort and connection with this person that grows from and transcends ordinary friendship. He would be one that knows my quirks and flaws and I must be willing and able to share the most private or strangest of thoughts or ideas without fear of betrayal or judgement. I must feel I can be 100% me. As much as the physical is important, it's the friendship that will stand the test of time and old age (ie, hip problems and dentures, etc). In case one wonders if I've met this person: doesn't seem so (but hey! God has a sense of humour so won't declare this fact!). But at least I know what I am willing to accept, because settling (for an apple when God made me for an orange) is not an option.
That's just my few (succinct) thoughts...
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