First Real Encounter with Trauma
I am a part of a church that tries to make a difference in whatever way we can in a downtown community. We do it by building relationships with the people who then allow us into their personal space. Only then can lasting and impacting change take place. Today, we met for our community walks...only today was a little different for me.
I have options in terms of where I drive, and today I chose to drive one particular way, even though I was wondering why I would choose to go that way. I then had all sorts of alternatives in my head as to how I could avoid going where I was headed, but after a while I just drove as planned. When I was almost at my destination, I came upon an accident. It seem to have happened not too long before I got there. One car was in a light pole, and another was half way across the road, blocking one of the two lanes of traffic. I noticed that a lady was sitting on the side of the road, while some gentlemen were walking around, talking etc. I pulled over to see if help was needed. One gentleman said yes, the lady needs to go to the hospital, so I went over to her to take her there. Only I was greeted by "don't touch me!". It was evident she was in shock and traumatized.
I introduced myself to her, and she looked at me with dazed stares, sometimes blank and confused as well, and she cried intermittently. She was shaking and clutching her chest. I got her name from her name tag, and tried my best to keep her calm. I even sat on the ground beside her so she felt comfortable talking to me. I also prayed for her, stooping in front of her without touching her. Several times I had to try and get her to take deep breaths when it seemed as though she was struggling to breath. The police came and tried to get her into their vehicle but she refused to let anyone touch her. After a while, I got to rub her shoulders to give her some comfort. I got her shoes from the car and she allowed me to put them on for her. The driver of the car she was in had her phone and tried to answer calls coming in. We tried a few times to get her to speak to them, but she was so out of it she said nothing...she just looked on dazed. She also struggled with the idea of getting into another vehicle.
It came out, based on information from the driver, that she was in a bad accident before. It seemed the car flipped with her. Unfortunately, she made a comment about him driving carefully because of it, and no sooner she said that that the accident happened. She calmed enough at one point to say she doesn't want to go into another vehicle because they are going to crash. I did my best to calm her fears, telling her the police would drive slowly and she wouldn't have another accident. That didn't help.
In all this, we were able to get someone who seemed to be a close friend or partner. He was making his way while we continued to try to get her to calm down and go to the hospital. At some point later, persons from her company came. By this time, she had finally stood up but was still shaking. She struggled with anyone touching her- sometimes it was fine, other times not - but she eventually allowed us to walk her to their car. She also told us that her head and back was hurting her. While by the car, she looked at me and said, "they gonna lock me up in the car?" and I had to assure her they would not. I rolled down the windows and told her to keep her legs outside until they were ready. Not long after, her friend arrived and took over. It was at that point I left.
After the community walk, I called the friend to find out how she was doing. It seems she was still very much traumatized and the hospital was likely to admit her. I could only pray for her and hope for the best. But it was an experience to see trauma to that degree. The look in her eyes...the shaking...she even at one point was so confused she didn't know if the gentleman helping her to the car was the same one that was hugging her just a few minutes before (which it was for the record). It also opened my eyes to how unsure people are in how to deal with these things, myself included. I was shocked when one person suggested we slap her in her face so she would be angry and "snap out of it". The police also were ready to forcefully take her into their vehicle. I can't say whether that would have been a good move; they wanted to get her the help she obviously needed, but given her resistance initially to anyone touching her, it would have made for a tricky situation.
If there were lessons for me, they'd be this: 1) if you think someone is driving too fast or recklessly, speak up! 2) following the promptings in your head, even if they don't make sense, 3) we have more in us to deal with stress in a calm way than we think. Too many times I see people being driver by taxi and buses in particulary and they sit quite content and comfortably, not realizing or caring that they are risking their lives. The 2nd point was important for me: I struggle sometimes trying to figure out which way to go, what to do, etc; this was a clear example that me following what seemed like the wrong move turned out to be the right one. And regarding the latter, I am learning more about myself in these situation including the trip to the Philippines this year and even today's accident scene. I think it's in all of us, especially as Christians.
I am happy I got to help in some small way, and even to be able to seek Divine help on the scene. I just pray that all involved, including the driver himself, will be fine physically and mentally.
I have options in terms of where I drive, and today I chose to drive one particular way, even though I was wondering why I would choose to go that way. I then had all sorts of alternatives in my head as to how I could avoid going where I was headed, but after a while I just drove as planned. When I was almost at my destination, I came upon an accident. It seem to have happened not too long before I got there. One car was in a light pole, and another was half way across the road, blocking one of the two lanes of traffic. I noticed that a lady was sitting on the side of the road, while some gentlemen were walking around, talking etc. I pulled over to see if help was needed. One gentleman said yes, the lady needs to go to the hospital, so I went over to her to take her there. Only I was greeted by "don't touch me!". It was evident she was in shock and traumatized.
I introduced myself to her, and she looked at me with dazed stares, sometimes blank and confused as well, and she cried intermittently. She was shaking and clutching her chest. I got her name from her name tag, and tried my best to keep her calm. I even sat on the ground beside her so she felt comfortable talking to me. I also prayed for her, stooping in front of her without touching her. Several times I had to try and get her to take deep breaths when it seemed as though she was struggling to breath. The police came and tried to get her into their vehicle but she refused to let anyone touch her. After a while, I got to rub her shoulders to give her some comfort. I got her shoes from the car and she allowed me to put them on for her. The driver of the car she was in had her phone and tried to answer calls coming in. We tried a few times to get her to speak to them, but she was so out of it she said nothing...she just looked on dazed. She also struggled with the idea of getting into another vehicle.
It came out, based on information from the driver, that she was in a bad accident before. It seemed the car flipped with her. Unfortunately, she made a comment about him driving carefully because of it, and no sooner she said that that the accident happened. She calmed enough at one point to say she doesn't want to go into another vehicle because they are going to crash. I did my best to calm her fears, telling her the police would drive slowly and she wouldn't have another accident. That didn't help.
In all this, we were able to get someone who seemed to be a close friend or partner. He was making his way while we continued to try to get her to calm down and go to the hospital. At some point later, persons from her company came. By this time, she had finally stood up but was still shaking. She struggled with anyone touching her- sometimes it was fine, other times not - but she eventually allowed us to walk her to their car. She also told us that her head and back was hurting her. While by the car, she looked at me and said, "they gonna lock me up in the car?" and I had to assure her they would not. I rolled down the windows and told her to keep her legs outside until they were ready. Not long after, her friend arrived and took over. It was at that point I left.
After the community walk, I called the friend to find out how she was doing. It seems she was still very much traumatized and the hospital was likely to admit her. I could only pray for her and hope for the best. But it was an experience to see trauma to that degree. The look in her eyes...the shaking...she even at one point was so confused she didn't know if the gentleman helping her to the car was the same one that was hugging her just a few minutes before (which it was for the record). It also opened my eyes to how unsure people are in how to deal with these things, myself included. I was shocked when one person suggested we slap her in her face so she would be angry and "snap out of it". The police also were ready to forcefully take her into their vehicle. I can't say whether that would have been a good move; they wanted to get her the help she obviously needed, but given her resistance initially to anyone touching her, it would have made for a tricky situation.
If there were lessons for me, they'd be this: 1) if you think someone is driving too fast or recklessly, speak up! 2) following the promptings in your head, even if they don't make sense, 3) we have more in us to deal with stress in a calm way than we think. Too many times I see people being driver by taxi and buses in particulary and they sit quite content and comfortably, not realizing or caring that they are risking their lives. The 2nd point was important for me: I struggle sometimes trying to figure out which way to go, what to do, etc; this was a clear example that me following what seemed like the wrong move turned out to be the right one. And regarding the latter, I am learning more about myself in these situation including the trip to the Philippines this year and even today's accident scene. I think it's in all of us, especially as Christians.
I am happy I got to help in some small way, and even to be able to seek Divine help on the scene. I just pray that all involved, including the driver himself, will be fine physically and mentally.
Wow, what a testimony to live an unselfish life. A lot of us, especially today, would have just slowed down and continue on our way or at the point of her redusal, left her. Good example of the Samaritan living. I do pray and send prayers for not only physical but the psychological healing of this lady. For you Le-Anne, may you continue to let God's love and compassion be your guide.
ReplyDeleteJulie Brimm
DeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Many of us don't understand the different faces that trauma wears. Thank GOD that you were His agent on hand to be able to handle it with grace and compassion. The confusion, the brain fog , the aggression...I'm very familiar with this place and pray that the Lord will guide her into counseling and that she'll be obedient to walk that hard journey. Bless God for His love...He sends His angels. Kudos on being one Le!
ReplyDeleteAwww Le. We ever so often fail to follow that still small voice, but thank God you did. Thank you for sharing such an anspirational story. I pray for healing and reassurance in the life of that lady, and the other lives affected. May God grant them peace.
ReplyDelete